During the COVID-19 pandemic the media writes a little more often about poverty. Many people have unexpectedly found themselves losing jobs and homes due to the economic crisis caused by the pandemic. Very fortunately, for once, I am not one of them. I am still poor, however. My salary is approximately the same it was in 2003. When I was packing this past year I found bills that showed the cost of living has doubled since 2003. I don't read that very often.
The media tends to ignore some aspects of being poor. It's never mentioned that the poor don't take stereotypical vacations often, if ever. The last time I did was in 2006, if you consider packing your own food to eat along the way stereotypical. Poor people can worry a lot about making purchases. Sometimes twenty dollars can be the different between eating and not eating for a week. In my case it can even mean doing without water. I am allergic to whatever is used to soften it by the apartment complex so I have to buy bottled water to drink and cook with.
Recently I spent a week agonizing over buying a 4-foot artificial Christmas tree. I doubt I will have room for my 6 foot tree, even though it's narrow, in my new apartment. I purchased the tree because I realized real ones weren't good for my allergies and the cost was getting very high. I don't really like the Christmas season. It's the unreal expectations we are forced to view every single year. I find I decorate for Christmas to make myself feel better about it. I also haven't been able to do so for the past few years, at least not since 2017 when my mother was hospitalized for the last and final time. The only decoration I did was Mom's nursing home room. Moving after 16 years and a summer of illegal harassment by my apartment complex was traumatic. I am still paying for my move and having trouble paying bills generally. This tree is the most life-like artificial tree I recall seeing and I don't know if I'll find another like it. This type of conversation constantly went on in my head.
This is the tree I bought. This is what Christmas trees looked like when I was a kid. It wasn't a furry cone with dense tips. I guess the cone shape came about because of artificial trees and the desire for perfection. Then real trees started being trimmed to copy the artificial trees. How sad.
My mother also had an entire collection of Lenox carousel ornaments. I helped her hang them on an evergreen garland one year. That's the last time I saw them used. I found out that the lion had been damaged and replaced it for her. Packing up her apartment later I found three more had been damaged. I replaced them too because she would have liked that. For some reason I want to use them this year. I also know putting them on the tree on the crowded floor with two cats would not be a good idea. However a small tree on the table would work very well, and look very pretty.
Today I also bought this neat little set of metal shelves. They're meant for jewelry storage most likely. There are three round tiered shelves with filigree sides about an inch and half high. The middle tier swings out so you can use it. I found some of my earrings and had them all together in one box. It was time consuming to sort them out. With these little shelves I can do that. When I no longer need them for my earrings, I can use the shelves for office supplies or other crafting supplies. I can feel very guilty about spending money on something that isn't absolutely necessary, for weeks. I will be telling myself how pretty and useful these shelves are for a long time to legitimize buying them. Thirteen dollars may not be a lot of money to some, but obviously it is to me these days.
A month or two ago I came up short of money. I sat down and added up what money I spent on myself for things not necessary this year. At the end of September it was about $210. Even I don't think that sounds like going overboard. Tell that to my Budget. It feels like a living monster sometimes.
I wish person who demanded more return on their investments were told it meant that prices would increase for everyone else and more people have to do without. That includes doing without health, vision, and dental care. It means more children and more pets are treated less well. It means more people drive older cars in poorer, possibly more dangerous, condition. It means people are less likely to visit friends and family. It means more people work over-time because they have to in order to make ends meet. Yes, they would like to spend the evenings having fun, but sometimes fun is paying a bill when you can. It means nights of insomnia for sensitive people like me who didn't expect to live hand to mouth with the potential of retirement in a few years.
I am going to try working at least two more hours over-time this week to pay for the Christmas tree.It's not that easy for me because I have fairly serious allergies that make me tired all the time. Being poor means you work over-time when you don't feel good as well.
